Episode Transcript

Speakers: Craig Andrews, Charlie Carr, Bluesman Grendel and the Compliance Choir, Production Music

[0:00 - 1:01] Craig Andrews: You never know how much time you have. For me, that stopped being an idea and became reality on August 22nd, 2021. The doctors put me on a ventilator and told my wife to call hospice so she could prepare for the day they planned to pull the plug. Six weeks later, I woke up to an entirely different reality. I could not walk, I could not talk, I could not even lift my own arm, and I woke up realizing something else: I had not made the right preparations for my family. The plans I thought were pretty good fell through when it mattered most. That is why Fiduciary Alchemy welcomes voices that would have warned me about the holes in my plans. My hope is that you live a long and prosperous life, but I also hope you make better plans than I did. So tune in, take notes, and stay with us through the end when Bluesman Grendel and the Compliance Choir bring a word of caution.
[1:01 - 1:45] Craig Andrews: Today, I want to welcome Charlie Carr. He is the founder and president of Big Canyon Advisors. Charlie founded the firm in 2020, what a year to start a business, right in the middle of COVID, after more than 30 years in professional services, including work as a consultant, banker, and wealth advisor. For more than 25 years, Charlie has worked with ultra-high net worth families, their businesses, and family offices on the issues That matter most across generations. Those would be legacy, continuity, governance, strategic planning, Family office design. Evaluation, succession, and preparing for the next generation. Charlie, welcome.
[1:46 - 1:48] Charlie Carr: Thank you, Craig, glad to be here.
[1:48 - 2:12] Craig Andrews: Yeah, it's, I, We've chatted once before, but it was just… it was such a delightful conversation. I've been looking forward to this. And I know you're up in the Metroplex, up in DFW. And your business is Big Canyon Advisors. Where's the big canyon?
[2:12 - 2:41] Charlie Carr: Oh, boy, that was… that was an interesting opening here. when we were… when we… I decided to start this business about 8 months before… 8, 9 months before I actually formed it, and spent, months of that trying to come up with a name. And… and I hate to… I hate to disappoint you, Craig, but but my house happens to be on Big Canyon Drive. I stole the name out of my street!
[2:41 - 3:13] Craig Andrews: That's happened before. I've seen… there's a company down here in Austin that was founded as Crystal Semiconductor, and it was because it was the street name. They ended up merging with another company, and they're now Cirrus Logic, but 90% of their revenue is from Apple. They're a big deal. Like, so, if you have an iPhone. And you hold your face up to unlock it, the chip that does that was designed at this place, at a company that was originally founded by being named after the street they lived on.
[3:14 - 3:49] Charlie Carr: That's great. Well, you know, I used all kinds of lines about there's a big canyon between your intentions and your desires and your legacy, and then how do we get you to cross that canyon across… I came up with all kinds of more logical things out there, but ultimately, after several months, it was the, The street name, and Yes, I was… when I was early in my career, I spent a lot of years at Bank of America, and one of the firms we acquired over the years had been named after the street in San Francisco that their office was on, and that always stuck in the back of my head, so…
[3:49 - 4:05] Craig Andrews: Yeah, no, I think it works. Now, when… You were, like, a minute late, it wasn't an issue, but you were, you were coming off a call, and you started telling me about this call that you took, and I was really intrigued. buy it. What was the car, and what was it about?
[4:06 - 5:08] Charlie Carr: Well, we were planning to talk here about family meetings, and it was one of my clients that I've worked with for 7 or 8 years now. When I first started knowing them 7 or 8 years ago, their complaint was that They had had some family meetings years before, and they'd gone terrible, and so they weren't meeting anymore. And so I'd asked him a lot of questions about those meetings, and why… as to why they weren't going well, hadn't gone well, and I realized that the meetings were really just about the money. They, they were, They weren't getting into education, they weren't getting into legacy, they weren't getting into purpose and family unity, and how do we draw the family closer together. It was really about, here are the trusts that we have, here's how we're investing it, this is what it's come from, this is our intent for the use of the money. And so what happens over time. usually when I'm saying, hey, when we do a family meeting, let's keep the financial portion down to about 15-20 minutes. Let's keep it under 20 minutes. Let's make the focus of the meeting everything else.
[5:09 - 5:56] Charlie Carr: If somebody's very financially oriented, and one of his kids is. that's very meaningful, but his other kids are not very financially oriented, and so after 15, 20 minutes, they're losing interest. It's hard to get them to focus on the meeting. And so that was part of the problem, is that, yeah, so I've said, well, the focus of your meeting should be family unity. education, developing, preparing the next generation, lots of topics about how do we build a family that wants to be together, that wants to stay together with cousins and all that. That should be the focus of the meeting. So anyways, yeah, it's, been working with them for a while. We're… we're improving, working on those things, but it's… it's a common… sorry, I've said that about this one client, but it's actually a common issue. It's… it's a…
[5:56 - 6:14] Charlie Carr: When people think, especially the entrepreneur, the one who's developed the money, their first thought is, well, I've got these trusts, we've done this estate planning, we've got these things out here. The purpose of the family meeting is, well, I need to go communicate that with the kids. That's a purpose, but that shouldn't be your primary one.
[6:15 - 6:37] Craig Andrews: Yeah. So, tell me a little bit more about this call. What was… you know, so, he called at the last minute, and the reason I'm asking is, when you were telling me about that call, I'm looking at your face, and I see your face light up. And I… and I… I… The energy in your voice elevated.
[6:37 - 6:38] Charlie Carr: Yeah.
[6:38 - 6:41] Craig Andrews: And it gave me the impression you really enjoyed that call.
[6:43 - 7:18] Charlie Carr: you know. Craig, one of the things of having my own business, one of the reasons for starting my own business 6 years ago now, was, I want to work with clients that I really like. And so, quite honestly, that's… that's what Big Canyon Advisors has become. It's… it's… it's, my new business comes from referrals. I like the clients that I work with, and I feel like we're making a big difference. And then with this client and other clients, I feel like we're making a big difference in their lives today. We're helping them with their But we're really helping them define their legacy.
[7:20 - 8:19] Charlie Carr: my tagline is that I inspire families to achieve their legacy for the next 100 years, and when I… I've had that tagline going back a lot of years. Probably 13, 14 years ago, I developed that. And somebody argued with me once that you can't define a legacy for 100 years. You can only control maybe 15, 20 years, and I said, that's the whole point. That's exactly why. we need to be thinking about the legacy that is outside your control, and in fact, this even applies with family meetings and everything else. I tell people, when you have young kids, you got a 12-year-old. You can sit there and tell them what to do, and you can logic… logically try to argue, but eventually you're just gonna say, be quiet, take the trash out, because I'm Dad, go do it. When you got a 25-year-old, or I got a 31-year-old, when you got kids that are older, you can't just… I mean, maybe very limited, but you basically can't just make them go do something. Especially for my 31-year-old, who's a lot bigger and stronger than I am, I can't make him do anything.
[8:19 - 9:10] Charlie Carr: You have to create a world that they want to be part of. So when we do family meetings, and that was, you know, our purpose, it's got to be… we gotta entice them. You gotta make this that they want to be part of this. If you make those meetings boring, if you make it to… that they don't want to be part of it. I'll guarantee you, they're not going to come. You have to make it to where they want to be. Same with when you're creating your family vision, your family values, your family constitution. It's all got to be enticing. This has got to be something that's exciting, that they want to be part of. I mean, we can sit there and say, oh, well, you know what, I developed all this money, I'm passing it to my kids, and so the money should be what gets them there. That works just a little bit. That doesn't… that really doesn't get you there. Over time. that'll fade off. What's going to get there is, do we make this exciting? Do we make this fun? Do we make this something they want to be part of?
[9:11 - 9:32] Craig Andrews: Okay, and here's the part where I think it can get confusing. Well, I'm thinking in the context of money. And thinking about, you know, succession planning and all that, and legacy. it's really easy to think, okay, what are we going to talk about but money? And you're saying it's… what'd you say, only 20% of the meeting should be money?
[9:32 - 9:42] Charlie Carr: It's… I think about 20 minutes of the meeting, and so… and that may be a half-day meeting. 20 minutes of it was about the money. Whoa, whoa, so…
[9:43 - 9:47] Craig Andrews: Yeah, let's back up. Yeah, how long are these meetings?
[9:48 - 10:55] Charlie Carr: You know, family meetings can be anywhere from, 2 hours is probably the minimum, and… and I've been part of some that are multiple multi-days, 2 to 3 days. You know, you'll do them… where you'll do… you won't meet 8 hours for 2 to 3 days, but you might meet 4 or 5 hours today, 4 or 5 hours tomorrow, and then maybe 2 or 3 hours on the third day. So, so yes, family meetings, depending on… it's gonna depend on the size of the family. If you've got… if you've got mom, dad, and two kids, 3 kids. You're not gonna meet… that's where you're gonna do a two-hour meeting. the ones that go over 2 or 3 days tend to be… we've got 3 or 4 generations coming together. We moderated one this past June that, Oh, I think there were 25 or 30… There were probably about 30, 25 or 30 family members that were in that meeting, and across three generations. 4 generations. 4 generations, I think. So, yeah, when you have that, and then you're getting into a lot of topics beyond… far beyond money.
[10:56 - 10:57] Craig Andrews: So, what are you covering?
[11:00 - 11:56] Charlie Carr: Family history? Where did we come from? Let's tell some stories. You get some really cool stories out there, by the way, when you start really digging into that. That's fun. But you'll get into family history. you'll talk about what our family charter is. So what are our… what is our vision as a family? What are the key values that hold us together? And the values are often aspirational, so when we're telling stories about the family history, we want to try to tie those usually to our family values. We, we're getting into education, and… And I actually don't like using the word education, because that has a negative connotation with the kids. So, We might, before the meeting, have a book or an article or something that we have people read, and we'll get into some deal on that. I've seen where you've had the author of a book come in and talk about some of the key concepts within that book. One of the favorite ones, and it's been a number of years now, and I'm looking at my bookshelf.
[11:56 - 12:58] Charlie Carr: The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge was a great book, and this family… some number, I'm thinking now it's, like, 12, 14 years ago, they had the author, one of the authors of that book come to the… come moderate one or two-hour portion of their family meeting, talking about the principles in that book. It was fantastic. It was a lot of fun. We've, we've done where we just will watch a TED talk. a 20-minute TED Talk, and let that be an educational thing that we'll get into discussion of. Just a variety of different ways of how we how we shape and mold the family and their legacy, and help them move towards that legacy, what they want to accomplish. That's… that's what the family meeting should be about. So you're building relationships, and in particular, it gets really important when you get to the cousin's generation, that third generation. They didn't grow up in the same house anymore. You want those cousins to get together. If you can get them to come together every year for 2 or 3 days and spend time, it just bonds the family together.
[12:59 - 13:19] Craig Andrews: Yeah. Yeah, and you know, I've lost some of that in my family. When I was growing up, we… we would go to the beach, we'd go to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, and… And we had… For…
[13:21 - 13:43] Craig Andrews: Three, four families. coming together. Now, we didn't have these family… you know, we just went out, went swimming, and went to, you know, fun land, and ate bad food, and, you know, did all those things. But it was a bonding time, and I'll be honest, I miss that, and over time, our families have just kind of… drifted apart.
[13:45 - 14:36] Charlie Carr: And we told them, you know, part of the meeting needs to be fun. You need to have a lot of fun with it. Any speaker you bring in, if you have anybody, they better be interesting. They better be fun. You better get some laughter. it can't be stayed and serious, or I mean, maybe little brief windows, but if the meeting itself is stayed and serious and all… it's all business. Nobody wants to come back next year, so you gotta make it interesting. And I mean, I've worked with some families that are huge, hundreds of family members. I mean, you know, six, seven gen… 7th generation out there, and they're trying to get… do the family retreat where they'll get maybe 100 out of 400 family members that actually show up, or… or, you know, sometimes they're hoping to get 100 out of 400 family members that actually show up. And you have to make it interesting. If it's boring, they're not coming back next year.
[14:37 - 15:27] Craig Andrews: You know, it's funny, I just remembered at the beach one year, I learned a little financial lesson. sort of financial lesson. My dad would give us a dollar. Every night, we would get one dollar that we could spend anyway, and it was nice, because it forced us to make choices. You know, you could either get you know, junk food, or you could play video games, but you couldn't get junk food and play video games. Well, one day I came in and I said, hey, can I have my allowance early today? And he's like, well, why? I said, I went by my cousin, Michelle, a water gun. And all of a sudden, everybody heard this. And everybody was, like, moved that I wanted to buy her a water gun, and I got, like, multiple dollars. The only reason I wanted to buy her a water gun was I wanted to shoot her, and it felt… it felt wrong to shoot an unarmed girl.
[15:27 - 15:31] Charlie Carr: That's good, that's fun!
[15:32 - 15:50] Craig Andrews: But I can see things like that happening, you know, the bonding, but also the opportunity to… to… What was communicated there you know, that was an early lesson for me about the importance of generosity, even though I wasn't being generous, but I was able to connect.
[15:50 - 15:51] Charlie Carr: Right.
[15:51 - 15:53] Craig Andrews: So that's how it was interpreted.
[15:54 - 16:24] Charlie Carr: But, you know, that experience, and just when you're doing that with cousins and all that, that deepens a family, it bonds a family, you're understanding the family values, you're understanding what the vision is and where you guys want to go. If you've got a family business of some sort, that becomes really critical, but even without the family business. You know, honestly, this is the fun part of what we're doing. You're creating a family legacy, that legacy of togetherness and unity and the values. That's fun.
[16:25 - 16:43] Craig Andrews: Yeah. Yeah. You know, my dad had a business. And… I can think of maybe 3 lessons. That he passed on to me. And, you know, he was of the generation where, you know, you don't share your mistakes, you hide your mistakes.
[16:43 - 16:44] Charlie Carr: Right.
[16:45 - 16:54] Craig Andrews: You know, in the last 15 years that I've been in business, I can't tell you the number of times that I wish my dad was here. To share one of those lessons.
[16:57 - 17:59] Charlie Carr: And, and by the way, share the mistakes. That's the, that's really critical. My dad was of the same generation, the same mentality. He… He, he, Yeah, he… my dad passed away last year, by the way, and he, would never share any of those mistakes, anything that he… that he did wrong. And that's a mistake. When we've done continuity with family business, I can remember sitting… Multiple times in meetings with multiple generations, and out there telling them, hey, we're in the fourth generation of this family business, and we're handing it over to the next gen, and you essentially have it wrapped up as a present with a bow on it and everything, and you're giving this to them and saying, hey, don't screw it up. don't make mistakes. We got all this family members counting on you, they all want distributions, don't screw this up. And the problem is that grandpa, or great-grandpa, who started this business, he made a ton of mistakes. And you don't…
[17:59 - 18:49] Charlie Carr: Build something new, you are not entrepreneurial, you're not creative, you're not doing something new without making mistakes. None of us are that way. You make mistakes, share the mistakes, tell the stories about the mistakes. That's… That's… when you get to that next gen, if they're… if they feel like, I can't make any mistakes, they're gonna put it… they're essentially gonna invest the business in treasuries. They're gonna… they're gonna go the most conservative route, and you're not gonna grow the business the way you want to do it. And by the way, they're not gonna have any fun, either. they have to be able to make mistakes, it has to be okay. Hopefully we control it, they're not big mistakes, but they have to have that opportunity, so… I'm sorry to hear that about your dad, though. I mean, I… as I think about my dad as well, I wish that he would… I wish he would have told more of those stories.
[18:49 - 19:02] Craig Andrews: Yeah. Well, and it's… You know, if you think about it, if you put it in the context of investment. we've already invested in learning this mistake. We've already… because there's usually…
[19:02 - 19:02] Charlie Carr: S.
[19:02 - 19:07] Craig Andrews: There was a cost to it. Yes. Let's not pay that cost twice.
[19:08 - 20:12] Charlie Carr: Yeah. You know… Another 12, 14, 15 years ago, I was working with a family. And we actually facilitated their first family retreat, but we were creating a charter, the whole works around their family vision and everything. I was talking to the grandfather who started the family business. And somewhere in there, he was telling this story about his dad had Built a business, done really well, sold it, bought a farm or ranch, and this is up in the Northeast, but he bought this farm or ranch, and it was an utter, complete failure. Lost his shirt, lost everything that he'd made on selling the business, gone deep into debt with it. And his dad died, and he was… he was telling me some of the history. His dad died, and he goes, you know, it took me a lot of years after dad died to pay off the debts. And then, kind of moved on. Bath up here. Whoa, let's just go back here. Your dad died, your dad had this business, your dad died, he failed, he had all these debts.
[20:13 - 21:06] Charlie Carr: Why were you on… you weren't on the hook? I mean, your name wasn't on that. You didn't inherit anything, because he… it was all negative. He goes, yeah, but he goes, the… it was neighbors, basically, that had loaned him money, that had invested in his farm. He goes, I couldn't… I couldn't let that go. I had to… I had to pay that off, so even though I wasn't liable for him and all that, I paid him off for the next few years, and I said. Who in your family knows about this? And he goes, well, I think one of my sons, he had… he had five sons. He goes, I think one of my sons knows. I go, any of your grandkids know? He goes, I don't think so. So I made him get up there at the first… their first ever family meeting and tell the story. That's part of who they are. It's part of what shapes them. First of all, the fact that Grandpa. Well, whatever they called them, succeeded and made this… made a… made, at the time, a fortune from… from this business.
[21:06 - 21:33] Charlie Carr: Which is great, and then he invests… he went all in on something else, and it failed. I mean, those are both stories that need to be told, but then that, hey, part of who we are is, this debt may not have been legally mine. But I went and paid it off over… over many years. That's part of your values, that's part of who you are. That needs to get communicated to the next gen. That needs to get told. So, he did, it was powerful. The first time, his grandkids all knew that story.
[21:34 - 21:45] Craig Andrews: You know, as you're saying that, I'm… I'm challenged, so I've… I have… 8 grandkids, and in a few weeks I'll have 9.
[21:45 - 21:47] Charlie Carr: Hey, congratulations!
[21:48 - 22:09] Craig Andrews: And I realized there's a story from my past that I share on occasion, but… I'm not intentional. And it's a powerful story. I'm not intentional about passing it on to them, so… My grandmother's grandmother taught Frederick Douglass how to read and write.
[22:10 - 22:12] Charlie Carr: Oh, wow.
[22:12 - 22:13] Craig Andrews: And it gets…
[22:13 - 22:15] Charlie Carr: That's definitely a story worth telling.
[22:15 - 22:41] Craig Andrews: Yeah! And he gave, you know, he was famous for his, he gave a 5th of July speech in 1852 that's often cited. And he mentions my grandmother's grandmother in that speech. And he was talking about how the… they would hear the slaves walking down the street, and the chains clanging, and he said, my mistress, my grandmother's grandmother. Would comfort me in those moments.
[22:43 - 23:00] Craig Andrews: And, you know, there's so much complexity to that story. She was able to teach him how to read and write because he was her slave. Which That adds a level of complexity, but… She also empowered the great abolitionist writer of American history.
[23:02 - 23:08] Craig Andrews: And I don't think I'm intentional enough. About sharing that with the next generation.
[23:09 - 23:58] Charlie Carr: And Craig, it's interesting as… worked with families over a lot of years now, and you start trying to get them to bring these stories up from the past, because those stories need to get told, and they're getting lost. So, my wife and I… Oh, I don't know, I've lost track now. 15, 17 years ago, we started doing family meetings for our family. We kind of made the thing, well, we don't have this great wealth like the families that I work with, but we've been telling them they should have family meetings, and if it's good for them, we should do it as well. So we started doing it, and I think our second or third year, we decided to make a focus of that year's meeting family history. And so she and I went to our parents and aunts and uncles, Actually, she went to her grandparents. Mine were already deceased at that point, but we went and just started gathering stories. And so one of the things that I found out
[23:59 - 24:58] Charlie Carr: that my mom had forgotten was that my grandfather, my mom's dad, during World War II, he had a farm in Maryland, and I didn't realize that during World War II, the United States had German POWs kept in the United States. I didn't realize that we did that. My grandfather had German POWs working on his farm. They were working on his farm during World War II. What… where this story came out is my dad prodding me on this, and decades later, my grandfather was getting Christmas cards from these German POWs. That had been on his farm, because they were so grateful for the way he fed them and cared for them and treated them. They were so grateful that literally decades after World War II ended, they were still sending in Christmas cards. Wow. My grandfather, whom I was named after, my grandfather was, chaplain to the Boy Scouts to the day he died. He was chaplain to the Volunteer Fire Department to the day he died in his mid-80s.
[25:00 - 25:31] Charlie Carr: he used his Christian values in action. He lived it. And when he was taking care of those guys, that's why he was getting these Christmas cards and gratitude decades later. That story that… If my dad hadn't remembered seeing those Christmas cards, my parents were divorced. 45 years ago. My dad hadn't remembered seeing those Christmas cards. My mom had forgotten the story, and she had to… I kind of had to pull it out of her. That story would have gotten lost. What an incredible story, though, and legacy.
[25:32 - 25:46] Craig Andrews: Yeah, I mean… And when I think about that, I start thinking about the values that you want to pass on to the next generation. Here's these people that we hated. We absolutely hated them. I mean, and…
[25:46 - 25:47] Charlie Carr: Yeah.
[25:47 - 26:13] Craig Andrews: We forget that. We forget how much we hated them at the time. And that, that was the prevailing culture. So, here's these people that you… hey, and I've seen on your website, you, cite a verse out of Exodus, and… that's… that's part of the values of your family, is, you know, I believe you've been called to love those… Who love your enemies.
[26:14 - 27:14] Charlie Carr: That's right, that's right. It's, it's, Yeah, and it's interesting. The verse in Exodus is, God, if you're not going with us, Exodus 33.15, I believe, if you're not going with us, don't… don't send us. And so, as we were starting Big Canyon Advisors, that was, that was our prayer of God, of, God, this business that we're starting, if you're not part of it, if you're not going with us, don't, don't let us do this. So, so that, is out there on, at the bottom of our website, but… You know, there were other stories like that that year, and I have to share one other one. My oldest son had… he was in high school at the time. was planning to go join the Army. That's what he wanted to go to the military. He wound up joining ROTC through college, spent 7 years in the Army. He's actually, just this year, joined the business, but We discovered on my mom's side, my dad's side, we're Irish immigrants, but on my mom's side. We had an ancestor who served in every war the United States fought, going back to the Revolutionary War.
[27:14 - 27:44] Charlie Carr: And one that was really fascinating was there was when an ancestor had, served in the Civil War. that we have his birth certificate, and we have his discharge. He was 14 years old when he was discharged from the Civil War. Just think about that for a minute. He was 14 years old when he was discharged in the Civil War. So, interesting stuff, but just to have that, you know, the encouragement and the legacy of all those family members serving in literally every war the United States has ever fought, so…
[27:45 - 27:45] Craig Andrews: Yeah.
[27:47 - 28:03] Craig Andrews: So, we could go on for a long time, but… Let's… let's wrap up this way. Could you give some concrete actions that people could take Because I always hate when people learn something and then don't apply it.
[28:04 - 28:04] Charlie Carr: Right.
[28:04 - 28:14] Craig Andrews: What's something digestible that somebody's never had a family meeting. What could they go do and have that happen in the next 6 months? And what would they need to do?
[28:17 - 29:13] Charlie Carr: when… with my family, the hardest thing is getting dates, getting calendars, getting figured out how we get them together. It's one thing when you've got your kids at home, you can pull that off. Those first few years, we did it. That was easier. the… the… so just planning the date is the hardest part there, but then it's just thinking about what is it we want to communicate. Maybe you take one particular value, or one particular lesson. that you want to just… let's focus on this this year, and that's going to be… don't try to do too much. If this is your first one to do, and it's one or two hours long, that's perfect. That's great. Let's not… let's not try to make this one of those three-day things here. That'll be a mistake. You… what you want is, when it's over, they want to come back and do it again next year. That's what you're looking for, so find a… it can be a TED talk that's really cool. I've got, like, four of them that
[29:13 - 29:59] Charlie Carr: I've used in family meetings that are just some phenomenal fun, and lead to some really incredible discussions. So find a TED Talk like that, or find a book that you just… that's really interesting. Better be a good book, interesting book. It needs to create some smiles, but And we've done that a few years, but find something like that that you want to communicate that ties your values together, ties your family together. And yes, you're gonna just… You're gonna get into some kind of discussions that will shape the culture of your family. So, so that would be my thing, is to be intentional. In this industry that I do, family business, family office consulting. We have this saying about policy before need.
[30:02 - 30:58] Charlie Carr: you know, if you're talking about family employment policy, don't wait till somebody's graduating from college to create your family employment policy, because they think it's targeting them. Create it years before. Same with family meetings. Don't wait till there's a blow-up in the family. We're trying to solve… we're trying to fix a communication problem. When you're in crisis mode, yes, you need to go find a way to solve it, but… but if you do this long before, like. Most people listening to this, hopefully, are not in crisis, and Start that family meeting now, and hopefully that'll keep you from getting to that crisis, because you're building a relationship, you're building… you're developing a lexicon, how we talk, our culture, our values, you're developing that in a way that down the road, when you actually get to a crisis mode, that helps you get through it. And so, so that's really… right now. In the next 6 months, just be very intentional. Go ahead and schedule it. Go ahead and do it. Don't… don't let there be a…
[30:59 - 31:07] Charlie Carr: there's always an excuse not to do something, but do that, I'll say again, the policy before need. Go ahead and do the meeting right now when you're not in crisis mode.
[31:08 - 31:26] Craig Andrews: Yeah, I imagine you want the first one to be a really positive meeting. It's… You don't want that to be the one where you're cleaning the toilets, or whatever the family business is that you have to deal with. It's gotta be the fun one. So they're like… Alright, let's come back and let's do this again.
[31:27 - 32:13] Charlie Carr: And yes, and you're finding a topic, you're doing something, I mean. I think one of the years with my family, we… there was a book that a comedy club in Fort Worth had put… had written this book. It was called Happy Accidents. We used… I gave it to everybody ahead of time, we read it, and then we… we went to dinner that night, and we went to the comedy club that night. We went to, The four-day weekend comedy club in Fort Worth, and just enjoyed… it's a whose line knows it anyways type comedy club, but we… we went and did that, that even… and it was just a lot of fun. So then, all of a sudden, they're thinking about, how do we do this next year? But we got into a whole discussion on that, and one of the things they do in there is the… use the yes and instead of no but. When we're having a conversation, Craig, you say something. I could come back to whatever you said and say, no, that won't work, but if we do this.
[32:13 - 32:42] Charlie Carr: That's a negative way. The other way is I could say, yes, great idea, and if we change this to that… I actually just said the exact same thing, but I just said it in a positive way. And I can't tell you how many times in the… 10, 12 years since we did that family meeting, my kids have called me on that, hey, Dad, you did… you did no but, instead of a yes and. It became part of the lexicon of who our family was, and it was a smile, it's a fun memory. And it's become part of our culture. It's part of who we are.
[32:43 - 32:43] Craig Andrews: Wow.
[32:43 - 32:44] Charlie Carr: So…
[32:45 - 32:48] Craig Andrews: Charlie, this has been awesome. How can people reach you?
[32:49 - 33:04] Charlie Carr: email or phone, charlie at bigcanionadvisors.com, and if you go to our website, it's… my phone number's out there, all of that. I'll weather the, the spam storm storm as well, but yes, always happy to talk to somebody.
[33:05 - 33:07] Craig Andrews: Well, thanks for coming on Fiduciary Alchemy.
[33:08 - 33:10] Charlie Carr: Thank you, Craig. It's been fun.
[33:11 - 34:07] Craig Andrews: Thank you for tuning in to Fiduciary Alchemy, the coolest financial podcast you are likely to find. We go looking for voices like the one you just heard because I want you to dodge the mistakes that I made, and learn it without the coma, without the drama, without nearly paying the man. I do not know why I lived when so many others died. That part is still a mystery. Now some folks ask, Craig, what is it you do? Well, I am telling you now, that is no mystery at all. We solve hard marketing problems in crowded markets so good folks, like our guests, can rise above the noise, become visible, memorable, irresistible, and grow like never before. If organic growth is your problem, reach out, call me, let us make a plan and bring your next steps into the light. But do not leave yet. Stick around a minute more and listen to Bluesman Grendel and the Compliance Choir deliver a word of caution just for you.
[34:10 - 37:52] Bluesman Grendel and the Compliance Choir: This podcast is for information and education. That is all. It is not financial, tax, or legal advice to guide your call. Nothing here is an offer. Nothing here is a buy or sell. No recommendation, no solicitation. I am saying it plain and well. Past performance is no promise. Get qualified financial, tax, and legal advice that is right for you.
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